thoughts

beautiful things

2011-07-27T19:37:00.000+08:00

Nature can be a truly beautiful thing. Whether it’s a scenery at the beach, the country side, or even a single flower plant In the middle of the city. Just staring at it makes you wonder about all the wonderful things in the world. It can take you down to memory lane, as the patterns and color makes you remember all the fun times that you had. I don’t know if you have experienced this, but whenever I am angry or sad, it is always plants or the sound of water that calms me down the most. The best way to relax for me, it to sit out in the sun, and enjoy its warmth.

handcraft

2011-07-19T00:06:00.007+08:00

gayness

2011-07-16T01:37:00.002+08:00

this was when i was doing a project on post-traumatic stress disorder and i forced him to act in my documentary! this always cracks me up!! i know, i am mean!! but what can i say???

thai restaurant

2011-07-15T22:32:00.010+08:00

i was startvin today, and there was nothin in the house to eat, so my friend and i went to this thai restaurant for dinner. after ordering our food, i realised that there was this arabian restaurant right next door. i wanted to eat there soo badly, but we couldnt go cuz we had already placed an order. we were seated at a table that was right next to the arabian resaturant. the only thing seperating us from the restaurant was a small window to my right.. while waitin, i was trying to get a peak at the restaurant, when i noticed these couple were eatin kebab. gosh, my mouth was soo watery!! i could taste it in my mouth.. i hinted to my friend what the couples were eating, you should have seen how her neck elongated like she was some giraffe.. she looked like some dumb founded fool!! we waited for about 10 mins for our food, and when i saw d food, i told my frend that the food better be good cuz she pick the place, or else! and shes like or else wat? so i said 'or else i'd stuff the food up ur ass' and she replied 'ooo that would hurt' and i told her that yeah it would, considering the fact that its hot and spicy.. nd i also added 'well i cant do that since NIDA PIKU MAYO THONG!! (which is chinese for 'your ass has no hole').. right after i said it, i realised that these 3 chinese ladies sitting right next to us stopped eating, and were staring right at us!! they were all quiet.. i was soo embarrassed!! they must have been shocked, disgusted, and alittle insulted cuz they were eating, and here i was talking about 'your ass has no hole' IN CHINESE..me, a black chick, african, talking dirty in chinese... they were all chinese!! they heard and understood what i said.. my friend was killing herself laughin at me!! i tried to act like i said nothing, but my friend just couldnt stop laughing.. she looked like some retarded walrus laughing, cuz she was slpping her hands on her legs, and their was noo sound comin out of her mouth!!! and the way i said it, was in a chris rock kinda chinese accent, shaking my head... i wonder what they were thinkin of us..

lol i love our stupid moments...

druunnkkk

2011-07-15T17:20:00.002+08:00

drunk people, are the most scary, crazy, and funny people!! being the only one sober makes you realise the sort of crap they do.. and am talkin about jumpin from the 3rd floor into a shallow pool, runnin across the street without lookin, tryin to walk in a straight line in the middle of the road.. the whole experience was pretty fun! i had the idea of firebreathin in my mind, so i dunno why, but i sprayed perfume in my mouth and tried breathin fire. i idea didnt work out soo much! instead of breathin fire, my tongue felt like it was on fire..

scary moments

2011-07-10T04:58:00.002+08:00

i know we all have that scary moments right after watchin a horror movie, when you hear a strange sound, and you think its probably nothin. but when you hear it again, thats when you run to your bed and hid under your blankly because its late at night, or theres no one in the house, and theres nowhere else you can run to and hid. the strange noise might still persist, and you can still hear it, and thats when you think 'OH GOD< AM GOING TO DIE TONIGHT!!' but if you are one of those brave pumpkins, you man up, and take whatever can be useful (whether is a bat, a bottle) or whatever you can lay your hands on to go explore and see what it is! you see nothing. just something random hittin on something, or the wind blowing on something. what if, right when you turn, you see someone or something standing right in front of you. what would you do? man up and whoop its ass for trespassing? karate-chop-it-into-some-chinese-styled-fried-rice? or would you be like me (someone that would be screamin her lungs out while frozen for a few seconds, then run like usaine bolt? maybe even faster... ) i bet 99.9% of people would be like me!! the 0.01% that stayed back to fight with whatever was there, are either lunatics, have been possessed by some powerful spirits (yes! powerful, because the weak once's will also run out like some castrated chickens!! its true), or the part of their brains that is meant to make them feel scared is severely damaged!! for i dont think anyone in their senses would stop for something like that!!

heres another thought!! what if that whole experience was a dream? and it keeps being dragged on like its never going to end. and you feel like you are never goin to wake up. or after watching a horror movie, you feel to scared to fall asleep because you think that you will see the nasty ugly looking scary faces from the movie that you watched! whats really horrible, is that when you do fall asleep, the movie you watched gets replayed in you dream, and you are the character that all the bad things happen to, or the person that survives and witnesses all the nasty crap that happens without being able to do anything about it!! what i really hate about bad dreams, is when something scary is happening, and you keep on screaming, hoping to wake up and escape you nightmares. but you NEVER WAKE UP WHEN YOU WANT TO!! its when the bad dream turns into something good, something you are actually enjoying that some stupid fool wakes you up, and you feel like beating the life out of the person! but you just hold back your anger, and let it all cool of!! like today, i was dreaming about winning a 'Micheal Jackson' poster that was worth $300 and right when i was about to collect it was when my stupid friend decided to wake me up!! i was like 'bitch!! did u really have to!!!??!!!!'

in my head

2011-05-22T23:30:00.003+08:00

have you ever tried laughing, until you actually start legit laughing?? i bet you have. i bet everyone has that one crazy moment in their lifes, when they space out, and do something completely stupid, until they snap out of it and then try to act like nothings happened. i am the kind of person that loves spacing out for no apparent reason.. its quite fun i must say. try it: just look into space, and think of nothing. if you cant do that, then think about whats might be happening at the space you're staring at, or the patterns.. you can even think about food! now thats some really good stuff.. i love food, though i dont like to eat that much.. i only like to eat when i am hungry though sometimes, laziness prevents me from eating: just thinkin about the energy i have to use to get the food, chew it, then swallow it makes me feel like not eating. but junk food is an exception. am talkin about chocolates, potato chips, beef jerky, liquorish, orange soda, coke, spicy sea weed, sweets, chewing gum.. all that sort of crap!! one thing about me, is that i am a caffeine addict. it started with coke, then coffee. but am most addicted to red bull!! once, i tried "caffeine rehab" by myself, didnt turn out soo well. i ended up going back to my caffeine habit by drinkin 1.5l of coke in less thn an hour.. it felt soo great to have it in my system again, thou i knew it was a bad idea.

right nw, you must be thinkin that since my blog's called 'thoughts', what is going to my head. honestly, i dnt know. i just have way to many stuff going on up there. the damage in my head is worse than the japan earthquake.

hmm.. and this is the moment my mind goes completely blank.. its its like a straight line.. if i could trace my brain activity, it would be something like: ▁▂▃▂▁▂▃▂▁▁▂▃▄▅▇▆█▅▄█▄▃▂▁▁▁▁▂▃▄▃▂▁▂▃▂▁▁▁▁▁▁

yup.. i am one FREAKY !CRAZY person.................... am out

sweet dreaam

2011-05-10T22:35:00.007+08:00

life is a maze. a long roller coaster ride, filled with ups, downs, and sideways. and love.... its jus a riddle. deep inside, i feel a rush. bby, u've got me hypnotized, so mesmerized. u're like the rain that washes away all the pain of yesterday, the light in my heart and much more. if our love was a story book, we would meet on he very first day. the last chapter would be about how am thnkful for d laugh we've shared. though i never thought that anything would happen between us, am soo glad to be urs. i just wanna be right there with you, because i dont want nobody else bby.. when you talk to me, i swear it feels like the whole world stops, and my mind goes into blank mood.

i go to bed every night, hoping to get a chance to see u when in all my dreams. And even though we are far away from each other, i can feel and sense your presence with me at all times. i know that am not alone, cuz i've got u by ma side...am all yours!!

wise beyond age!!

2011-04-17T04:27:00.008+08:00

her hair was up in a ponytail
her favorite dress tied with a bow
today was daddy's day at school
and she couldn't wait to go
but her mommy tried to tell her
that she probably should stay home
why the kids might not understand
if she went to school alone
but she was not afraid
she knew just what to say
what to tell her classmates
of why he wasnt there today
but still her mother worried
for her to face this day alone
and that is why once again
she tried to keep her daughter home
but the little girl went to school
eager to tell them all
about a dad she never sees
a dad who never calls
there were daddies along the wall in the back for everyone to meet
childeren squirming impatiently
anxious in their seats
one by one the teacher called
a student from the class
to introduce their daddy,
as seconds slowly passed
at last the teacher called her name
every child turned to stare
each of them was searching a man who wasn't there
she went to the front of the class
as she smiled up at her mom
and looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on
and with hands behind her back
she slowly began to speak
and from out the mouth of a child came words incredibly unique
'my daddy couldnt be here
because he lives so far away
but i know he wishes he could be
since this is such a special day
and though u cannot meet him
i wanted you to know
all about my daddy and how much he loves me so
he loved to tell me storie
she taught me to ride my bike
he surprised me with pink roses
and taught me to fly a kite
we used to share fudge sundaes
and ice cream in a cone
and though you cannot see him
im not standing here alone
cause my daddy is always with me
even though we are apart
i know because he told me he'll forever be in my heart"
with that her little hand reached up
and lay across her chest
feeling her own heart beat
beneath her favorite dress
and from somewhere in the crowd of dads
her mother stood in tears
proudly watched her daughter
who was wise beyond her years
she finished with a voice so soft
but its message clear and loud...
'i love my daddy very much
hes my shining star
and if he could, he'd be here
..but heavens just too far'

2011-03-31T19:44:00.000+08:00

votre amour!!!

il est tres doux, comme le contact d'un bébé,

tres agréable comme l'odeur de la rosée de matin,

tres beau au coeur comme la belle vue de la fleur de ressort,

tres désireux comme un nourrison faisant luer premier promenade

tres calme comme l'écoulement de fleuve

il tourne ma plus sauvage rage comme les marées violentes d'ocean dans une calme mer

MON CHERIE, J'TAIME

VOUS ÊTES MA ANGE, ET VOUS ÊTES LA CLÉ A MA COEUR

2011-03-23T14:19:00.000+08:00

i've always wanted to be an independent woman. to lead my own life, and worry about no one, but myself. successful independent women, that have changed the world, were my biggest aspirations. But what i don't understand, is that people expect me to be somewhat like their personal slave, or a robot. I was once told by a good friend, that in my mind, i always want to please people, and i don't like to hurt peoples feeling. I was also told that i tend to step out to my comfort zone in pursuit of other's satisfactions. The hardest thing i can do, is to say no to something i know i can do or give. for example, when i friend asks me for cash, though am broke, i'll give them what i have. However, a lot of people are taking advantage to my disability. its always demand, and demands, that never seems to stop regardless of how much i try. for a long time, it's always been like that. But now, it transforming into something else, something i don't know of. So what i have more guy friends? that doesn't mean am a slut. so what if am very close with my best friend, and we holds hands? that doesn't mean we are lesbian. So what if i love science a lot, actually concentrate in class, and get good grades? that doesn't mean am a nerd. so what if i love sports, dresses like a guy, walks like a guy, loves playing video games rather than going shopping, rarely wear makeup, dresses, and high heals? That doesn't mean am going through identity crisis. Every one on this face of the earth, have faults. So why do people seem to be inclined to fix other people's gardens, when theirs is filled with a feet high of pests, weeds, and unwanted plantations??? i mean.. fix your own households, before looking into other's. This, i believe is the biggest crisis that the human species are facing, though not many realize it.

i mmisss yoou!!

2011-03-06T02:18:00.000+08:00

i loved siting by your bed. holding your hand, while feeling your warmth. i loved it when you sqeezed my hands. your frendly greetings, was what made my day. the warmth in your smile, was what set me ablaze. to watch you suffer from your illness, was hard enough for me to bear with! yet to watch you die, felt like u took me away with you.

when i held ur hand that windy april evening, and i didnt recieve that special warm greeting from you, i knew that something had gone terribly wrong. i panicked. i didnt know what to do, or what was going on. ur body was cold, and your eyes were just lookng up. you didnt move. you just laid there, very still, lifeless, without even knowing that i was there. by the look of it, it didnt seem like you would be with us for the next couple of hours, but then again, u never did.

theres nothing more painful, than to lose someone close to you. At first, you would be indenial, thinkin that they would come back some time soon. but in reality, they are gone forever. as i see u layin lifelessly on the bed, i keep thinkin that it wasnt death. that you just fainted, and you will gain conscienciousness very soon. but you never did. that didnt weight me down, as i had still had hope of you coming back.

It was very hard for me to let you go, and it took alot from me, to try and convince myself that u were long gone. i knew that i had not only lost the only sister sister i had from my mom's side, but i had also lost my best friend, my supervisor, my mentor/guru, my role model, my everything, as well as half of my self.

it has been said that every soul shall taste death. And indeed, that is the truth. we dont know when it will come, or how it will come. we dont know who it will take next, And that is our greatest fear!

2011-02-27T02:42:00.000+08:00

inspired by u!!

life is a blind path

2011-02-23T23:26:00.000+08:00

Am walking down a path

A blind path to which i walk cautiously on

For i feel one slight movement can bring doom and destruction

I don't know where i am heading to

Am not sure where i came from

Or what i did before

Will i be demanded?

Or will i survive?

By the end of this journey

Whenever it will end

Can you tell me what this is?

My beginning, My end?

My rise and fall?

Surely there will be a fall. But will i rise again?

Ofcourse you wont know... no one does

Am walking on a blind path

I might trip and fall

Nay, i'll definitely trip and fall

But i will stand back up again

All i want is for some light to be shed

Lead me through a bright path

Show me my happy ending

Or my demandable end'

And hopefully let me rest in peace......

what keeps me alive

2011-02-23T22:31:00.001+08:00

* reputation is what people know about you, honor is what you know about yourself

* if you distinguish the reward, you distinguish the behaivior

* nobody can decide how small you are. you decide how big you are

* desire without determination, has no destination

* ask, believe, and you shall recieve

* when everyone walks out, a friend walks in

*habit is the mother of all characters

* you can make a difference

* the world doesnt revolve around you

* have faith in tomorrow for it will bring a better day

* never wish for yesterday for it has gone it's seperate way

* believe in today, for it is what you are living

* dare to dream all your dreams, for it is not "why", but "how"

* courage leads to triumph

* it takes strong faith to believe

* a collection of dreams, makes a strong country

* indredients in a conversation: truth, good sense, good humor, and nature

Depression

2011-02-23T22:15:00.003+08:00

as it stroke my chest

penetrating like pests

those which i detest

though i think it is a test

i try to forget all the test

believing they will give it a rest

then dreams of little birds in a nest

far ahead in the west

who complete in a quest

striving to be the best

Master of The Game

2011-02-23T22:15:00.001+08:00

living to play

hearing the tease

engaging in a game

but not knowing the rules

planting words in the heart of innocense

strinkin them out in painful gabs

like flying daggers of the dead

for indeed, the day will come

when the player will be played

and the gamer will be ruled

the games never changes, but the players do

Remorse

2011-02-23T22:14:00.002+08:00

when remorse comes,

it drains you down

not being able to to look at it's victim in the eye

now, the gamer becomes the tortured

for there is no master

trechery takes your soul away

now regret has taken it's course

and remove has put in a purse

now it is too late, for laughter is now a partner

Pain

2011-02-23T22:14:00.001+08:00

it is a word to be feared

and mostly it is neared

it burns in the south like fire

disturbing your hearts desires

leaving your heart in pieces

but also, you heart at misses

can leave you in grief and sorrow

something you wont want to burrow

indeed, it should be feared

so it is not neared

A Nation Of My Dreams

2011-02-23T22:13:00.001+08:00

the nation of my dream

i imagined it like strawberry and cream

looking soo calm in peace

though nothing comes at ease

but when surely archieved

forever will be pleased

rome is said not to be built in a day

may the sun shine for us to make our day

prayer

2011-02-23T22:12:00.000+08:00

a symbol of respect

you will not regret

given you strenght

even at the point of death

always there for you

you will not regret

a ship on the sea

ever sailing you can see

evil cannot stop it

because GOD controls it

forever it's there for you

you will not regret

never neglet it

if you will not regret it

for it will sace you on that day

so dont neglect

forever its there for you

you will not regret